I have been traveling this road of infertility for nearly eight years. We to be clear we have been trying to conceive for nearly eight years but I have known since I was fourteen that getting pregnant was going to be a struggle. Over the years you hear labels like “infertile”, “barren”, or “childless”. Let me tell you, after a while I began to think that’s all I was. In my eyes my value came from whether or not I could give my husband a child. What kind of wife was I? I felt worthless, I felt like I was a giant mistake. The special thing women were created to do since the beginning of time was to conceive and give birth. But here I am, a woman who can not physically do this on my own.
In this world it’s easy to let the labels stick, to say, ‘I’m infertile”, “I’m barren”, or “I’m childless”. But what if I give you this label instead: “Fearfully and wonderfully made”! That’s right sisters let that one soak in for a minute. Tell me…. how does that one feel?
This is not just a label I came up with on my own. Psalm 139:13-14 says, “For you created me in my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful I know that full well” (NIV). The New Century Version puts it another way, “You made my whole being; you formed me in my mother’s body. I praise you because you made me in an amazing and wonderful way. What you have done is wonderful I know this very well.”
Doesn’t that just make you heart sing!? Let us take a little “word trip” together. I’m a uber book-worm and nerdy type and love, love, love researching and digging deeper into scripture. Let’s start with created. The definition according to Merriam-Webster is: to bring into existence, to fashion, or to fabricate. The Greek word is kitzo which applies only to God who alone can make what was “not there before”. The Hebrew word for created is “qanith” which means to give birth to.
Don’t get stuck there because the wordy excitement doesn’t end there! Check out the word knit. It creates this picture in my mind of knitting needles looping and knotting together two strands of yarn into something beautiful. One of the Hebrew words is sakha which means to plait or to interweave. Essentially God took all our inner parts and weaved them together just so. It paints a picture of something very intentional taking place, and this brings me to my very favorite part: “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made”.
Again looking up the definition of fearfully you will find the definition of extremely. When you look up wonderfully you will find exciting wonder. Put that together: extremely and of exciting wonder! It gets even better when we see the Hebrew translations. The Hebrew translation for fearfully means with great reverence and heartfelt interest. Wonderfully translated means unique, set apart, uniquely marvelous. What beauty is expressed when we look at the true meaning of these words as they originally intended.
So to bring this all together, I can apply this biblical truth to my life: God fashioned every part of me together with heartfelt interest and respect in a uniquely marvelous way. I am exactly how He intended… infertile and all!
*For further reading see: Genesis 1:27; Isaiah 44:2, 49:1, 64:8; Psalm 100:3; Jeremiah 1:5; Ephesians 2:10; and Galatians 1:15