So we have moved to yet another new home (our sixth home in ten years actually) and with that comes meeting new people. Let me tell you for the mega introvert like myself, meeting new people is certainly not in my top five favorite things to do! I swear I get hives just thinking about meeting new people. I have to psych myself up for it. I run down every scenario possible trying to anticipate what questions may come up in the “get to know you chit chat”! I’m sure there has even been a time when I practiced in front of the mirror before leaving the house! Thankfully for me I’m married to Mr. Social Butterfly. When we go out together I usually let him do all the talking but unfortunately there are times when I must venture out in that big world all on my own!
I believe the biggest reason why I dislike meeting new people so much is because I know someone is bound to ask the dreaded question. Oh come on now you know the one I’m talking about…. “So how many kids do you have?” It always comes up. Just yesterday I was getting my hair cut and the lady trying to make small talked asked about my children. It’s inevitable people always inquire about your children like its a requisite for women of childbearing age these days! Its the infamous “getting to know you question”. Now I can answer this question one of two ways. First I can say “No, no children for us yet” and then silently whisper “sorry Vance and Veronica mommy loves you so much and I promise I didn’t forget about you.” Which then leaves me feeling like I have just denied my own flesh and blood and I’m having an internal battle that the poor inquirer knows nothing about. While I’m battling with myself the other person always responds with “Oh don’t you guys want any kids?” To which I can politely chuckle and say “oh someday hopefully” or I can say “well you see my female parts never learned how to work properly and it just doesn’t seem like its our time just yet!” Or I can choose the second option: “yes I have two children. I have a son and a daughter but they are in Heaven now.” However this option shocks the inquirer and leaves them grasping for something else to say and I’m just standing there thinking “gee bet you wished you hadn’t asked that now don’t you!”
I have no idea why it is so important to ask a stranger if they have any children. At times I have felt as if my worth as a human in society somehow correlated with the number of children I did or did not have. Those with many children were some how of far greater worth in our society than I who for the moment is childless here on earth….. And then it struck me. I was looking at it with an earthy prospective. When I begin to look at it from God’s perspective a much more incredible picture of who I am begins to take shape.
When I turn to God’s word and ask Him, “God who do you say I am?” He answers: “You are my child (John 1:12). You are a friend of Jesus (John 15:15). You are a co-heir with Christ (Romans 8:17). You are a citizen of Heaven (Philippians 3:20). You are LOVED by me and I chose you (1 Thessalonians 1:4). Most importantly you are of great worth, bought with a great price (Romans 5:8).” How incredible to see that I am all those things to my Heavenly Father.
Meeting new people will more than likely still not be one of my favorite things. But now I have a whole new perspective. I’m fairly certain people will still ask me how many children I have… its inevitable. And I suppose I will have to discern the best answer for the situation. But from now on I refuse to allow my mommy hood (or lack there of) to determine my worth or who I am. Because clearly the only thing that is important is who God says I am!