At church yesterday the pastor started his sermon by referencing the Rascal Flatts song “Life is a highway” and though his sermon continued about sin and the detours we try to take to work around it, it made me think about infertility. It seems like I can draw some kind of connect the dots game with infertility and almost anything else. Rest assured I put infertility on the back burner and paid attention to the pastor’s sermon and the words God wanted me to hear. After church however I couldn’t escape the truth behind the simple statement “life is a highway” or rather “life on the infertility super highway”.
When we plan a road trip, or just get in the car to go somewhere we expect to start the car, pull out of the driveway, and drive to wherever it is we are going. We obey the traffic laws but we hope and expect to just get to where we are going. I think we expect becoming mommies (or daddies) ill happen much the same way. We get married, do the “deed”, and bingo-bango two pink lines and nine months later a beautiful, healthy baby swaddled tightly in your arms. Sadly for so many our road trip to mommy hood isn’t so easy.
The beginning of the infertility journey reminds me of a roundabout. There is one way in but several ways out. Everyone else seems to know exactly where they are going and there I am sometimes I’m confident and sure and other times I’m stuck going around and around until I figure out which way to go. The worst roundabout I have ever experienced was several years ago in Paris. I swear it was like seven lanes wide and I don’t think anyone knew what the direction of travel was or if they even cared. It was a giant free-for-all. If you find yourself at this point in your infertility road trip take heart. It won’t last forever. Be patient, eventually you will discover your way out.
As you continue on the infertility super highway you will inevitably happen upon a yield sign. Your yield sign may be waiting on God to determine what to do next. Your yield may be stepping back and allowing a mommy-to-be in your life to be filled. Your yield may be taking a break between treatments . Whatever your yield sign is be encouraged. This is the time I have found that God does some of his greatest work. Allow Him to pour into you. Be refreshed and renewed by the Holy Spirit. Believe me I know how hard this is. I’m a take chafe, proactive type of person and this “yield” time I’m in at the current moment has been the greatest challenge for me. But I can say with full confidence that while I have been yielding, God has been hard at work in my life.
So you’ve been diagnosed, you’ve determined the course of treatment thats right for you, and you are moving forward. You have reached your on ramp. Everyone else is traveling at a high rate of speed and you are just trying to catch up. You have to merge, find an opening. Sometimes thats easy and sometimes thats hard, either way you are on and traveling along like everyone else.
It doesn’t take long at all once you’ve merged on the freeway to remember that even though you are traveling at the same rate of speed your road trip isn’t like the other travelers. You hit a patch of bumpy road. You can still drive on this road and get to where you are going, but goodness it’s an inconvenience. Maybe you are switching doctors or treatment options. Maybe the treatment and the struggle to conceive is straining your relationships. The bumpy roads on the infertility super highway are inevitable but they don’t last forever. Recognize your pump roads and appreciate them. Consider them a sign from God that rough road is ahead if you don’t patch up the road you are on.
Now if you are stubborn like me and you have ignored the “bumpy roads ahead” signs in your life you are bound to run right into a pot hole. Some pot holes are small, sneak up on you, cause a little bump, but little else. Others are giant pot holes that you can’t avoid. Losing Vance and Veronica was the biggest pot hole I have ever encountered. It WRECKED me. Put my “car” out of commission for quite sometime. This pot hole required serious roadwork and a long detour.
God is the master road worker. His tool box and the equipment He has to use is beyond comprehension. He takes His time, never rushes, or cuts corners. When God begins His “roadwork” you can be sure He will complete the good work He has started. He will put up detour signs, and like me you might get frustrated that you couldn’t just take the easy way. But God’s way is always the best way! God’s roadwork results in new pavement. There is nothing like driving on a freshly paved road. Its smooth and quiet. Its like sailing more than driving. When you have found yourself on the “new pavement” on your infertility highway you will know that its the way God has chosen for you!
*The road trip doesn’t end here. Stay tuned for Life On The Infertility Super Highway Part II.