God is AWESOME! The fact that He sees me, hears me, and knows me just leaves me breathless. He is the author and creator of Heaven and earth. He reigns on high above all and yet He sees me, hears me, and meets me right where I am. My human brain just can’t fathom that.
I’ve been struggling a little more than usual lately. I’m sure its just because the holidays are quickly approaching and thats always a rough time for those of us in the IF community. I’ve been spiritually and emotionally drained. There have been more days where I have wanted to throw in the towel. There have been more days where I could almost feel the ugly bitterness and anger dripping from my heart. There have been days where I have asked others to pray for me because I was finding it especially hard to pray for myself.
That’s where I found myself last week on my way to church. I had the music on and I was trying hard to pray and prepare my heart for the message. I just told God, “You know I am hurt and broken. I’m on the verge of giving up and for some reason I feel like you just aren’t listening anymore. Father GodI’m praying and praying and I’m still here with a broken heart. Please just meet me today right where I am in hurt and bitterness.” As I finished praying I noticed what song was playing. It was “Jesus Bring The Rain” by Mercy Me. If you haven’t heard the song you must go straight away and find it on youtube (if I was more tech savy I would have found some way to include the song here but alas I am not). Part of the song goes like this:
Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings you glory
And I know there’ll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that’s what it takes to praise you
Jesus, bring the rain
Needless to say I was sobbing and I went right back to prayer. “God I get that. Believe me I know that there will be pain and I know you will use it for good and I know it is meant to bring you glory! I get that but I’m so tired of hurting. Please just speak to me.”
I kid you not the very next song that played was “He Knows” by Jeremy Camp. The song starts with:
All the bitter weary ways
endless striving day by day
you barely have strength to pray
in the valley low
How hard your fight has been
how deep the pain within
wounds that no one else has seen
hurts too much to show
And then the beautiful chorus cries out:
He knows, He knows
every hurt and every sting
He has walked the suffering, He knows
He knows, He knows
Let your burdens come undone
Lift your eyes up to the one who knows
I was an emotional hot mess by the time I pulled up to church. God had so beautifully spoken to me. He could have stopped right there and I would have been encouraged and lifted up. I would have felt God’s love poured out over my heart. But God is AWESOME and He doesn’t just meet our needs. When He pours out its to overflowing.
Praise Jesus and Hallelujah. God spoke to me again through the church sermon. The sermon was titled “How significant are you to God?” The key scriptures we looked at were Luke 19:1-10. Its the story of a man named Zacchaeus who lived in Jericho. He was the chief tax collector and reportedly the shortest man in town. He was extremely wealthily which was just the towns way to visibly see that he was more than likely getting wealthy from their taxes. Zacchaeus was probably not very popular. He had probably spent most of his adult life being called some not-so-names. But on this particular day Zacchaeus had heard that Jesus was coming to town. Zaccaheus wanted so desperately to see Jesus. So this very wealthy man, probably dressed in some pretty fancy clothes and the finest sandals tax dollars could buy, ran through town and climbed a sycamore tree and crawled out on a limb so he could see Jesus. Now bare with me I know you are probably wondering what any of this has to do with God speaking to me. When Jesus arrived in Jericho, He walked through town straight for that sycamore tree. He looked right up and called Zacchaeus by name. Jesus met Zacchaeus right where he was and called out to him. This same man who was more than likely the least popular guy in town was sought out and called by name by the Messiah. Jesus noticed him, He affirmed him, and Jesus wanted him.
In that moment I heard God whispering to me, “Brittny I see you, I hear you, and I want you!” God is AWESOME. He sees you, He hears your tears and your prayers, AND He will meet you right where you are. Even if thats up a tree, out on a limb, feeling like you are on the verge with no where else to go!