Be Brave!

I have two words for you today…. be brave! If you don’t read any further, if you don’t hear anything else today, I pray that you read and hear this…. be brave!

Life can be scary, it can be a real struggle. For those of us struggling with infertility/infant or pregnancy loss it may seem down right impossible. The countless doctor appointments. The medication that leaves you feeling like the forgotten character from One Flew Over the Cookoos Nest. There might be an unanswered or an unexplained prognosis or test result. Or there might be the ending you never saw coming. It all has an unreal ability to make you feel beaten down, crushed, or deflated. Even when you tell yourself you are ok with moving on, something pops up that makes you question your resolve.

But dear one, I encourage you, no I implore you to be brave! Deuteronomy 31: tells us, “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified, because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave you, nor forsake you” The Lord goes on to command Joshua in verse 23 “Be strong and courageous…. I myself will be with you!” I have noticed that the phrase be strong and courageous appear roughly ten or so times throughout the bible. Each time it is mentioned the Israelites were up against some serious odds and still the Lord was telling them to “be brave”.

The definition of the word brave is: ready to face and endure danger or pain; showing courage. By definition, all of us who struggle with infertility and loss, are already brave. In trying to conceive and living after loss we “are ready to face and endure danger and pain”. All that is left is for us to now LIVE IT! Be Brave!

I’m currently reading an absolutely incredible book titled Girls With Swords by Lisa Bevere. If you haven’t read it you really must. Lisa Bevere writes in her book, “Don’t imagine that always brave translates to never afraid.” I pray you really soak that in. There will be times in any trial when you are afraid, but that should never stop you from being brave. Be strong and courageous because He is with you. And when He is with you who can stand against you (Romans 8:31). That alone should give you the courage you need to be brave! Mrs. Bevere also writes in her book, “Lovely one, if you dare to dream,, you must be brave enough to fight.” What greater dream is there than for parenthood? To finally conceive/adopt that child you have been longing for! Be brave enough to fight.

God did not create in us a spirit of timidity or fear. He created in us a spirit of strength and courage, all we have to do is fully trust that He is with you. Be brave on your journey for our Father is with you wherever you go.

*Do you need a little more encouragement? Here are some scriptures that will strengthen and encourage you as you press on towards being brave: Deuteronomy 31:6,7,23; Joshua 1:6, 9, 18, 10:25; 1 Chronicles 22:13, 28:20; 2 Chronicles 32:7. Also check out You Make Me Brave by Bethel Music (just make sure you crank up the volume really loud!).

Just Enjoy

At the beginning of this year my sister challenged me to discover my one-word theme for the year. I loved this idea so much better than coming up with a New Year’s resolution because my track record for keeping them isn’t so great.

I spent a good part of the first week of this month in prayer and reflection awaiting the one word God would give me. I was filled with anticipation and excitement. I had all these grand ideas of what my word would be. I thought for sure it would be something bold and revolutionary (I suppose I think a little to highly of myself). But then slowly a single word began to captivate my attention, often times in the most bizarre places.

It became clear to me that God was giving me my word. He said to me, “Brittny ENJOY!” And of course because I’m stubborn and need a lot of convincing I countered with, “Oh but I’m such a happy person of course I enjoy life.” That’s when God took off the kid gloves and solidified in my heart my word, “without conditions!” The air from the room was sucked out as if someone had turned on a vacuum. Enjoy without conditions. My Heavenly Father was so right, He knows me so well (obviously). Right there in that moment He exposed me. No matter how hard I try to fake the funk my enjoyment is usually based on conditions. So…. I have committed to enjoy… just enjoy.

You can believe me when I say that is huge for me. I’m a planner who loves checklists. I make checklists for everything (even vacations). And when even one of those boxes go unchecked I feel anxious. I feel as if I have failed. I dwell on that unchecked box and the things that went wrong that caused it to go unchecked. Even now just talking about unchecked boxes is giving me chest pains. I totally miss the enjoyment of the boxes that were checked, or the vacation or project that was successfully completed. And it doesn’t stop with checklists. I have been known to say, “I can relax when the kitchen is clean”, or “I’ll be happy when hubby does X, Y, or Z”. Here’s a biggy, “I will be happy and content when I finally have a baby!” In those moments I miss out on time with family, the satisfaction of a job well done, or a lesson from my heavenly Father.

It may take me all year but I’m committed to just enjoying my life, my relationships, and the seasons God chooses to walk me through. Hubby and I have some big things possibly happen to us this year and normally I would be seriously stressed out right now. I would have already mapped out all the things that could go horribly wrong. I would be consumed with what if. But now I’m reminding myself daily that I am a new creation in Christ. That every day is a new opportunity to embrace God’s grace. I’m focusing on the fact that God has not created me with a spirit of fear or worry but rather with a spirit of joy and hope.

Romans 15:13 says, “May the God of HOPE fill you with ALL JOY and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may OVERFLOW with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” He fills me with so much joy and I’m not going to give the enemy the satisfaction of knowing that I’m trading my joy for fear or worry anymore. Please don’t get me wrong, infertility is not something I have enjoyed. It has been something that has brought great sorrow and pain and something I battle every day. What I am saying is that even in those circumstances there are things we can enjoy and it should be enjoyed without conditions. This year I’m committing to seeking out His blessings in ALL circumstances and I’m going to just enjoy them!

There is a time for everything…

“There is a time for everything, and a season for everything under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace” (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8).

A lot has happened in our crazy life since I lasted posted a month ago. There has been the usual work, housework, bible study, and church stuff that happens year round. But there has also been some new developments in the “baby department”. After lots of prayer and some pretty intense discussions where hubby and I laid it all out there, we have decided to no longer pursue having biological children.

Many factors played into our decision but it was one that we agreed upon mutually. For us the ultimate goal is to be parents and we know there are other ways for us to achieve that. Before I go further please let me just say this is how we feel for ourselves. I don’t want to diminish or make anyone else feel any kind of way about their own decisions. Carrying a child and child birth was very risky for me and its not a risk either of us feel comfortable making again. But I applaud and pray for every couple who continue on this journey over and over again.

I’ve had some time to really come to terms with what this means for us and how I feel about it. I never dreamed I would be able to accept this for myself. But now that I have I am able to see how much God has blessed me. Psalm 37:4 says, “Take delight in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.” Even before I was “delighting in the Lord” the way I should have been, He still loved me and gave me the desires of my heart. I had always wanted to be pregnant, to feel a baby move and kick inside me. I dreamed of the day hubby and I could hear our baby’s heart beat on the ultrasound. I desired to experience childbirth and to hold my children in my arms while I told them about Jesus and how much He loved them. I sit here today in total awe and praise because my Heavenly Father has given me all those things. It didn’t end up looking like I had planned but He gave me the desires of my heart anyways.

Its taken me quite a bit of time to realize this however. I was too intent on clinging to a season that had already passed. I was focused on getting that season back, to focus on making His plan fit into the mold I had created, that I missed seeing my desires fulfilled.

Theres been a lot of growing and a lot of praying going on. And I’m so thankful that I’m allowing myself the time to heal and the time to let go. I think I stood in the way of us moving forward a while ago….. then again maybe this is exactly what God had in mind for us all along.

There has been a time for birth and a time for death. There was time for planting and time for uprooting. A time for weeping and a time for laughing. Theres been plenty of mourning but also lots of dancing. I’ve kept and I’v thrown away. I’m learning to be silent because I know all to well how to speak (more than I should sometimes). I’m learning that there is healing and growth when we allow a season to pass.

I’m so excited to share with you our new season we are finding ourselves in. Hubby and I have decided to become foster/adoptive parents. We are still early in the process but already many of the “expectancy” and “nesting” symptoms are showing themselves.

I may not be pregnant…

But we are EXPECTING!!

He WILL meet you where you are

God is AWESOME! The fact that He sees me, hears me, and knows me just leaves me breathless. He is the author and creator of Heaven and earth. He reigns on high above all and yet He sees me, hears me, and meets me right where I am. My human brain just can’t fathom that.

I’ve been struggling a little more than usual lately. I’m sure its just because the holidays are quickly approaching and thats always a rough time for those of us in the IF community. I’ve been spiritually and emotionally drained. There have been more days where I have wanted to throw in the towel. There have been more days where I could almost feel the ugly bitterness and anger dripping from my heart. There have been days where I have asked others to pray for me because I was finding it especially hard to pray for myself.

That’s where I found myself last week on my way to church. I had the music on and I was trying hard to pray and prepare my heart for the message. I just told God, “You know I am hurt and broken. I’m on the verge of giving up and for some reason I feel like you just aren’t listening anymore. Father GodI’m praying and praying and I’m still here with a broken heart. Please just meet me today right where I am in hurt and bitterness.” As I finished praying I noticed what song was playing. It was “Jesus Bring The Rain” by Mercy Me. If you haven’t heard the song you must go straight away and find it on youtube (if I was more tech savy I would have found some way to include the song here but alas I am not). Part of the song goes like this:

Bring me joy, bring me peace

Bring the chance to be free

Bring me anything that brings you glory

And I know there’ll be days

When this life brings me pain

But if that’s what it takes to praise you

Jesus, bring the rain

Needless to say I was sobbing and I went right back to prayer. “God I get that. Believe me I know that there will be pain and I know you will use it for good and I know it is meant to bring you glory! I get that but I’m so tired of hurting. Please just speak to me.”

I kid you not the very next song that played was “He Knows” by Jeremy Camp. The song starts with:

All the bitter weary ways

endless striving day by day

you barely have strength to pray

in the valley low

How hard your fight has been

how deep the pain within

wounds that no one else has seen

hurts too much to show

And then the beautiful chorus cries out:

He knows, He knows

every hurt and every sting

He has walked the suffering, He knows

He knows, He knows

Let your burdens come undone

Lift your eyes up to the one who knows

He knows

I was an emotional hot mess by the time I pulled up to church. God had so beautifully spoken to me. He could have stopped right there and I would have been encouraged and lifted up. I would have felt God’s love poured out over my heart. But God is AWESOME and He doesn’t just meet our needs. When He pours out its to overflowing.

Praise Jesus and Hallelujah. God spoke to me again through the church sermon. The sermon was titled “How significant are you to God?” The key scriptures we looked at were Luke 19:1-10. Its the story of a man named Zacchaeus who lived in Jericho. He was the chief tax collector and reportedly the shortest man in town. He was extremely wealthily which was just the towns way to visibly see that he was more than likely getting wealthy from their taxes. Zacchaeus was probably not very popular. He had probably spent most of his adult life being called some not-so-names. But on this particular day Zacchaeus had heard that Jesus was coming to town. Zaccaheus wanted so desperately to see Jesus. So this very wealthy man, probably dressed in some pretty fancy clothes and the finest sandals tax dollars could buy, ran through town and climbed a sycamore tree and crawled out on a limb so he could see Jesus. Now bare with me I know you are probably wondering what any of this has to do with God speaking to me. When Jesus arrived in Jericho, He walked through town straight for that sycamore tree. He looked right up and called Zacchaeus by name. Jesus met Zacchaeus right where he was and called out to him. This same man who was more than likely the least popular guy in town was sought out and called by name by the Messiah. Jesus noticed him, He affirmed him, and Jesus wanted him.

In that moment I heard God whispering to me, “Brittny I see you, I hear you, and I want you!” God is AWESOME. He sees you, He hears your tears and your prayers, AND He will meet you right where you are. Even if thats up a tree, out on a limb, feeling like you are on the verge with no where else to go!

I can smile because of HIM

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

My heart is so over joyed! Three times in the last week I have had the opportunity to share my testimony with people. Each time the response was much the same… “Oh my goodness I’m so sorry but thats an incredible testimony”…. “Oh my goodness you are so incredibly strong”…. And my favorite, “WOW I would never have guessed you ever went through something like that because you are always so happy and you always have a smile on your face!” My response is always the same, “I can smile because of HIM”.

You see God is the source of my strength and my comfort. Its been such an incredible lesson in God’s love, compassion (and comfort), and His peace that surpasses all understanding. On my own I would be drowning in a dark pit of despair. On my own I would be stuck, shrouded in depression and hopelessness. But because of Him I can smile, I can rejoice and give thanks, and I can share with anyone who will listen all the wondrous works He has done in me.

Its also been a great lesson in sharing. God doesn’t give us these beautiful stories, written on our hearts for us to cling to or hide. He gives us our stories for us to share and proclaim all His great works. You just never know who you will minister to when you share your story. Just the other night when sharing with my neighbor about our loss she was able to share about hers. This woman was given a chance to share, an opportunity to recognize she too carried a life that left this earth too soon. This beautiful woman who probably hadn’t had a chance to really share this precious life with anyone spoke of her child and all the things she had hoped for.

I urge you to share your stories. Be bold and encouraged. You story just may help someone else heal!

*If you are reading this blog for the first time or you are stopping by from IComLeavWe you can find my testimony back in June titled I Share With You My Testimony!

A Letter To My Children

Yesterday as so many know was Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. It was so beautiful seeing and hearing the stories of so many. It was incredible to see those who chose to celebrate in honor of a friend or …

Alone with God in a church pew

So God and I had a moment at church this morning. Well I think we may have had a moment, I’m just not totally sure if I understood it correctly.

Ok let me start at the beginning. I was standing there during praise and worship and my lips were moving and I was even bopping back and forth with the rhythm of the song when I noticed that for a decent amount of time my thoughts and my heart had been on all things baby and not actually praising my heavenly Father as I should have been. I was daydreaming about being in the delivery room giving birth to a beautiful baby. I was at home dressing a beautiful baby girl in a frilly pink dress and matching bow for church. I was with hubby taking our adorable son trick-or-treating around the neighborhood. All this was taking place while my lips were still singing His praise. MY LIPS, not my heart. I was suddenly overwhelmingly ashamed. My daily battle to remove my idol had so epically failed in the worst of places…. the House of God. As the worship songs came to a close I prayed for forgiveness and pushed baby thoughts from my mind, determined to fully soak in today’s message. I did a pretty good job. Jesus Christ in you, the hope of glory (Colossains 1:28). Jesus’ presence and power in our life. And of course because its football season and we live in the land of all things New Orleans Saints a football analogy… You have a choice every morning. As the quarterback you can either pass the ball to yourself (and surely get creamed) or pass the ball to the MVP Jesus who has already claimed victory.  Of course, I thought the answer is easy. I pass the ball to Jesus duh!! And then my moment with God began…

Suddenly my worst fear creeps into my thoughts, “what if I ask you to give up having that baby you have longed for?” I could seriously feel myself panic. In my head I began to argue, “but what about your promises to me I’m clinging to them as if they are the last lifeboat on the Titanic?” In my head (and possibly my heart although I’m afraid to admit that) I hear, “I promised I would work out all things for good. I promised that all things would be used to bring me glory. I promised I would never leave you or forsake you. But I have never officially promised you a baby.” By this point I’m sobbing like a crazy person in the third row pew from the front. And then the choir begins to sing “In Christ Alone” and I can’t stop the tears at all.

In Christ alone, my hope is found,

He is my light, my strength, my song;

this cornerstone, this solid ground,

firm through the fiercest drought and storm.

What heights of love, what depths of peace,

when fears are stilled, when strivings cease!

My comforter, my all in all,

here in the love of Christ I stand……

So that is why I say God and I had a moment in the church pew this morning. My GREATEST fear is that God may ask me one day to surrender motherhood to Him. I don’t know for certain what my answer will be. My head says to surrender all but my heart says to surrender all but that. And I know thats wrong. I know that’s not how its supposed to be. Just thinking about it makes my heart feel as if its being torn apart. I would rather die than relinquish that. For surely the pain of relinquishing motherhood would kill me anyways.

Despite the fact that I know “If God is for me (and surely He is) who can stand against me?” I know that God has created me for greater things, the thought that He just MIGHT one day ask me to surrender that to His is unbearable. What will I do if that day ever comes? Maybe my moment with God in that church pew today was only meant to turn me to some serious prayer, to work all this out with my heavenly Father. Or maybe this moment happened to prepare my heart. I just don’t know!

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month

*Image created by Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep

October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month. It began in the United States on October 25, 1988 when President Ronald Reagan designated through a Presidential Proclamation that the month should be recognized as National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month.

When I was preparing to write this post I was overwhelmed by some of the statistics out there. Roughly 90,000 children die annually in the Unites States before their first birthday. Nearly 30,000 babies are born sleeping in the United States with the number climbing to nearly 4.5 million world wide. There are more babies that pass away as a result of stillbirth than all of the other causes combined, and it occurs 10 times more frequently than S.I.D.S. And 15-20% of pregnancies end in miscarriages each year.

As I sit here looking back over these statistics I almost feel hopeless. But I know that I do not serve a hopeless God. Though I may not have the answers to all the questions or understand why these awful things happen at all I do know that it has happened to me for a reason. One of those reasons just might be to raise awareness. It just might be because I’m bold enough (and maybe stubborn enough) to put my pain and my journey out there for someone who might not be strong enough to yet. There is no reason for any of these parents to suffer in silence. Raising awareness is about breaking the silence. Its about sharing your story so that others may get a glimpse into the world we live in.

I came upon a quote while reading about pregnancy and infant loss I believe it was on the http://www.october15th.com sight and it said something to the affect of….

“When a child loses a parent they are called an orphan. When a spouse loses his or her partner they are called a widow/widower. When a parent loses their child there isn’t a word to describe them.”

It seemed incredibly fitting. There are just no words to describe the pain of losing a child. And sometimes living in the aftermath has been my own private apocalypse. But again I know God will work out all things for my good. For now all I can do is remain faithful and hopeful, and I can share my journey and my precious children with whomever will listen.

If you have suffered a pregnancy or infant loss please know you are not alone. There are so many of us grieving alongside of you. Know that there are things you can do to honor your precious babies as well (and it doesn’t require putting it out there for the whole world to see if thats not your thing). You can participate in the wave of light ceremony that will be taking place October 15, 2014 at 7pm (you can visit http://www.october15th.com for more information, they also have a Facebook page if you are interested). You can participate in an October 15th event in your area, you can also find information about this on that website.  You can do a balloon release or send your baby a message in a bottle. You can plant a tree, bush, flowers, or even a remembrance garden. Or you can honor your precious angels by conducting a fundraiser to benefit an organization that raises awareness. There are many other ways to honor your babies. The important thing is that you do what you are comfortable doing. I chose to honor my children by having their foot prints tattooed to my forearm. I held them there for a moment…. and now I will carry them there for a lifetime!

I would also like to share about another non-profit organization called Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep (https://www.nowilaymedowntosleep.org). The organization has photographers worldwide who donate their services to grieving families by coming to hospitals and photographing babies and their families. The photographs are breath taking and are a priceless gift. We had an amazing photographer come when Vance and Veronica were born and she took some of the most beautiful photographs that I know I will cherish forever. Believe me I know how difficult it is to think about something like that while you are in the heat of the worst moment of your life but if you are given the opportunity please take it. You don’t have to look at them right away but at least you will have them if you ever want to.

For every grieving mommy and daddy who has ever had to suffer the loss of their child it is my prayer that God will command His angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways, so that they will lift you up in their hands ( Psalm 91:11-12). My He cover you in comfort, compassion, and a peace that surpasses all understanding.

An extra dose of comfort

The last few days I have needed an extra dose of comfort that only God can provide. Its been such a battle between joy for my sister, excitement for these precious little boys God has gifted to us to love, and sorrow for my own loss. Especially after she texted the other night when she was discharged from the hospital after her C-section. My precious nephews were born on Wednesday of last week and have been in the NICU ever since. Praise God that they are doing so well after being born at 32 weeks. Its just brought back so many emotions that I didn’t expect to deal with.

Anyways the other night she texts me and of course she feels guilty as it is for texting me of all people but she needed comfort. She says, “I’m being discharged from the hospital and I didn’t realize how hard it would be to leave them there all alone. Will you please pray for me?” I’m sure she struggled immensely with reaching out to me of all people but we are a family who prays for each other and she reached out to her big sister. My earthly self was screaming “How dare you complain to me about this. At least you babies are touched and fed and snuggled so tightly in warm blankets. I had to leave my babies cold and alone knowing they were waiting to be picked up by a funeral home. How dare you come crying to me looking for comfort.” I am ashamed that I even have earthly thoughts like this. Thankfully I pushed my earthly thoughts away and was able to offer her comfort.

The next day I came across 2 Corinthians 1:3-5,

“Praise be to God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God” (emphasis mine).

God has not showered me with compassion through my darkest times for me to store it up. He hasn’t poured out compassion and peace that surpasses all understanding for me to bottle it up and ignore those around me who are hurting. God has poured out an abundance of compassion and comfort so that after receiving it and healing (even though it doesn’t seem like it sometimes) I can then pour out that compassion on someone who is hurting. It doesn’t matter that my loss was permanent. That when I left the hospital that night with empty arms I wouldn’t be going back to get them when they got better. In that moment when my sister texted me she was hurting and her pain was real, and God has called, prepared, and equipped me to offer her comfort.

Would you like to hear something beautiful!? One several occasions over the last few days friends from various parts of the country have sent me messages saying that God has placed me on their hearts and they are praying for me. These friends had no idea what was going on they just knew they needed to pray. God saw me hurting and He called people to pray. He again poured out His compassion and reminded me that my pain and suffering never goes unnoticed to Him.

My Heavenly Father also never misses an opportunity to speak to me. Just the other night (the day that I was hurting a little bit more than the other days) I opened my nightly devotional and 2 Corinthians 4:17-18 spoke to my heart.

“For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.”

Even as the day was drawing to a close My precious Heavenly Father saved up a beautiful promise to share with me. In that moment I realized I’m going to press on through the hurt, I will finish this race God has called me to run, and someday I will receive my eternal reward and my precious Vance and Veronica will be waiting there at the finish line to welcome mommy home! Jesus tells me in this world you will have trouble but take comfort my dear child I have overcome this world!

God can make the impossible possible

Yesterday was one of those days where I had to remind myself of all the impossible things God has made possible. I needed the refresher because yesterday was one of those days where imaging I will ever have a baby seemed like a giant impossible! Oh did I forget to mention that while I was having “one of those days” my sister was in labor and gave birth to my twin nephews last night! Perfect timing right!! It was one of those days where the weight of infertility felt like it was crushing down on me. So its days like yesterday that draw me closer to God’s word and all the times God made the impossible possible.

I turn to the book of Joshua and watch as the wall around Jericho falls and the city delivered into the hands of the Israelites, and all it took was some marching and some trumpets and a whole lot of Godly intervention. I look to the “mighty warrior” Gideon and how he took on the Midianite army with a minuscule army. Not only did they take them on but they were victorious. God made that possible.

I can turn to the book of John and witness as Jesus turns five small loaves of bread and two small fish to feed 5,000 people. I don’t know about you but no matter how I try to slice a loaf of bread and a filet of fish I just can’t seem to get it to stretch that far. Again another impossible that God made possible.

Now if these stories aren’t enough to snap me out of the funk I was in yesterday there are so many others I can turn to, to remind myself that God can easily make an impossible possible. But what usually brings me the most comfort is when I look to the women in the bible who also thought having a baby was impossible. What better source of comfort than to be inspired and comforted by women who have lived with the pain of infertility! When I look at them side by side and see the children God blessed them with it blows me away.

Sarah, Abraham’s wife, was barren. The same Abraham whom God told would be the “Father to many nations”…. and his wife was barren. Years, and years, and years go by and still no baby for Sarah. But God was faithful to His promise to Abraham and Sarah. Even after the instance with “the other woman”, God still blessed Sarah with a son. This son would be the first in a long line of descendants. Isaac’s wife Rebekkah was barren. Genesis 25:21 shows us that Isaac prayed to the Lord on behalf of his wife because she was barren. God answered Isaac’s prayer and Rebekkah has not one son but two! Twin boys Jacob and Esau. Jacob is one of the most influential people in the Old Testament and the father of the twelve tribes of Israel. Rachel gave birth to Joseph who because of his faithfulness in all circumstances became the second most powerful man second only to Pharaoh. This positioned him in a place where he was able to provide for Israel during a time of great famine. Or how about Hannah. Oh dear, sweet Hannah. Her story tugs at my heart strings more than the others for some reason. Hannah prayed with all her heart for a precious son and God answered her prayers. Hannah gave birth to Samuel who later becomes a priest and a prophet, a man of God who anoints the first two kings of Israel. I can also read about Manoah’s wife who gives birth to mighty Samson who is one of the great judges in a time of great rebellion. And we can’t forget about Elizabeth. Elizabeth was barren but God blessed her even in her advanced age. Elizabeth gave birth to John the baptist. THE John the baptist! The very one that Jesus called the greatest man born of woman.

As I look over this list of women I can’t help but realize that I am in good company. I’m sure at one time or another each one must have felt like having a baby was just impossible. For some it was old age, for others maybe it was just taking way too long. For me sometimes I feel like I’m getting too old. Sometimes I feel like its taking way too long and I’m running out of time. And then there are times when I look at the finances and the burden of paying for yet another round of treatment seems like an obstacle we just can’t possibly tackle. Thats when I have to remember all the impossibles God made possible. I have to remember that yes on my own it is impossible but I am not alone. The burden has been lifted! God makes even the most impossible possible! He did it for Sarah, Rebekkah, Rachel, Hannah, Manoah’s wife, and Elizabeth. And someday, in someway, when He says its time, He will do the same for me. Yesterday was my pity party, today I get back to God’s reality. Today I rejoice for the new lives that God has blessed us with. I may not be loving on my precious babies right now, I can love on my precious nephews.